Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
