the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
