I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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