So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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