I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
we're so committed to being not committed
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
