Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
