Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
