we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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