apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
