Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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