Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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