ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
