He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
