so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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