I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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