either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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