There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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