she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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