She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize