She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
