I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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