oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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