but the lizard people decide everything anyway
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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