These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
