you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
