my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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