So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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