your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
