I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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