someone get that fucking seahorse.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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