bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
