90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
