ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
