Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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