Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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