I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Randomize
