There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
