so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
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