You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
