is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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