things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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