So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
