I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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