You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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