if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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