I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
