dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
