Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
