Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
