Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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