Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
that may or may not have been my penis.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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