I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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