Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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