hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
