I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
