there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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