i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Randomize
