ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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