the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
