Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
