i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
