No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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