she was so not down for the gang bang
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
