Non-Jews are for practice
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
