i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
